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A few months ago, I was on a date with a guy when he asked me the second-date question I hate the most: “When was your last serious relationship? From where I’m standing, I’ve been in three “serious” relationships: one in high school, one in college, and one a few years post-college.

” I took a gulp of wine and gave what I saw as the honest answer — a little over three years. The amount of time I spent with these guys, when you add all the relationships together, only equals about two and a half years out of the decade I’ve been dating.

But like I told the asshole with the Amstel Light, that doesn’t mean that I’ve been alone — not by a long shot.

I’ve carried on a three-year, on-again-off-again sexual relationship with a guy named Will*.

”I often get hung up on the word “serious” when I'm discussing my romantic past.

So for the rest of that time, I’ve considered myself single.

I’ve definitely pulled back from the apps a bit, only using them a few days a week instead of every day.

But, most importantly, I’m recognising the importance of getting to know a person as, well, a There are some lessons we learn early on in our dating journey — like the fact that a long list of requirements isn’t helpful.

I’d meet men who probably wanted a relationship, but who didn’t want one with me.And it wasn’t as if grief had struck down my sex drive — it was humming along quite nicely.It was just the men in question that turned me off.I was dating guys who seemed like Pinterest versions of partners, without really caring about what made them tick.Instead of getting to know them as people first, I was basically interviewing them for the role of “boyfriend.” That’s what I was doing back when The Naked Test had to be instated, and that’s what I was doing again. Well, for starters, I’ve recognised that the idea of being “relationship material” is incredibly subjective, and changes depending on the person.

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